MAKE ALBERTA RECTANGLEY AGAIN

We are all about making Alberta Great Again, and returning it to The Past when everything was wonderful. And part of that Great Past was our traditional Rectangular Shape. AND YES WE KNOW the Fact-inistas will tell you Alberta was never a rectangle, but you tell them to shut their patchouli holes; Ol' Vic is dedicated to making this province Great again, even in fictional ways. So let's MAKE ALBERTA RECTANGLEY AGAIN and here's why:

No more sales tax

Only provinces without sales taxes have jobs, economies, freedom, and hockey. Join us!

A better flag

What IS the BC flag exactly? Kelsey Grammer's hair underwater? and why are their TWO flags on it? Choose one, the Union Jack or... explosion in front of a dying TV or whatever the bottoms is supposed to be.

67% more Common Sense

Less facts!  More Common Sense!  If it FEELS like it should be true, then in Alberta it IS true!

Increased parental choice for schools,

We literally don't care how you educate your kids. Tell 'em that Frogs are Mammals and the Earth is borne through a sea of lemon drops by Fatrasha The Benevolent. Your kids deserve freedom from Facts & Knowledge

1 better hockey team

Can't tell you which one though; but rest assured, eventually before Ol' Vic dies, we will have a team go to the Cup again.

25% increase to salaries.

YYou people in BC are paupers!  You can't argue with statistics! Switch to living in Alberta and we promise your salary will go up 25%*

*not a promise. 

An easier to draw province

What the h*ll is Alberta shaped like anyway? Are we a pentagon? Who can draw that? NO ONE, that's who. 

Younger Driver Ages

Kids NEED to learn how to drive. Notice that as we take away kids' RIGHT to drive, they play more Pokemons  Go?  NOT. A. COINCIDENCE.

Average age of 37

When you become an Albertan, you'll become 5 years younger, on average from 41 to 37!

And wouldn't being younger feel great?